Season 7

1982–1983

Oct 6, 1982 · 30m

Debbie Reynolds plays an actress whose torrid memoirs convince Mel he's the one she remembers as the greatest kisser in her life.

E2. Do You Take . . . ?

Oct 13, 1982 · 30m

Mel tries to outdo an old buddy who shows up boasting a track record of fast living and sporting a blonde on his arm as proof.

E3. The Secret of Mel's Diner

Oct 20, 1982 · 30m

There's gold in them there walls, or so Mel reckons after learning that the eccentric who built his diner left $20,000 stashed in another building.

E4. Alice at the Palace

Oct 27, 1982 · 30m

Joel Grey offers his services gratis as the leading man in a musical revue bankrolled by Mel and featuring Alice. Mel, however, has never heard of Grey and gives the role to his bookie.

E5. Joel Grey Saves the Day

Nov 3, 1982 · 30m

Joel Grey walks out after producer Mel turns a revue about New York into a desert musical with tunes like ""Two Tootsies from Tucson"" and ""Ramona from Arizona.""

E6. Alice's Turkey of a Thanksgiving

Nov 10, 1982 · 30m

Alice's meddlesome mother knocks the stuffing out of her daughter's Thanksgiving dinner.

E7. Carrie on the Rebound

Jan 9, 1983 · 30m

Carrie is slow to come out of a depression after a quickie divorce.

E8. Jolene's Brother Jonas

Jan 16, 1983 · 30m

Jolene's brother pays a surprise visit, but the surprise is on him, he gets an icy reception from his sister.

E9. Alice Sees the Light

Feb 28, 1983 · 30m

Everyone takes with a grain of salt Alice's claim that she saw a UFO.

E10. Vera the Virtuoso

Mar 7, 1983 · 30m

Vera, whose cello playing can reduce a virtuoso to tears, is asked to play in a local string quartet.

E11. Alice Faces the Music

Mar 14, 1983 · 30m

The waitresses pit their musical knowledge against that of three plumbers on a TV quiz show.

E12. Tommy, the Jailbird

Mar 21, 1983 · 30m

Alice fears that freshman Tommy is abusing his new freedom away from home by majoring in extracurricular activities.

E13. Jolene and the Night Watchman

Mar 28, 1983 · 30m

Jolene can't bring herself to bruise the tender feelings of a bruiser who saved her life and now considers her his girl.

E14. Mel's Dream Car

Apr 11, 1983 · 30m

Mel is stripping his gears over his jazzy new Porsche he purchased for a measly $20.

E15. Come Back Little Sharples

Apr 17, 1983 · 30m

Mel has had it up to his keister with the way things are going so he absconds to his apartment for a beer and pizza binge.

E16. Vera, the Torch

Apr 24, 1983 · 30m

Vera wishes her landlady the worst for evicting her pets then feels responsible when the old crank's apartment catches on fire.

E17. The Grass is Always Greener

May 1, 1983 · 30m

In role reversals, Mel becomes an employee by accepting an executive position with a catering firm, and the waitresses become owners by buying his diner.

E18. Tommy Fouls Out

May 15, 1983 · 30m

Afraid that he's lost the ""right stuff,"" Tommy quits the basketball team.

E19. Vera on the Lam

May 22, 1983 · 30m

After Mel decides to have the waitresses bonded, Vera owns up to a criminal past and takes it on the lam.

E20. Mel's Cousin Wendy?

May 29, 1983 · 30m

To steal a competitor's secret sauce recipe, Mel persuades his cousin to pose as a woman and apply for a job as a Burger Baby.

E21. Sweet Erasable Mel

Jun 5, 1983 · 30m

Mel's experiment with a computer goes well until Vera enters a transaction and erases every trace of Mel's financial existance.

E22. Tommy Hyatt, Business Consultant

Jun 12, 1983 · 30m

Using Tommy's marketing advice, Mel increases his business but also learns he's heading for bankruptcy.

E23. Jolene Lets the Cat Out of the Bag

Sep 18, 1983 · 30m

Jolene's hair is standing on end with a cat burglar prowling her neighborhood.