Season 5

E1. Arthur, Spooner

Sep 23, 2002 · 22m

Holly asks Doug if she can get a raise for walking Arthur, while Carrie gets a promotion.

E2. Window Pain

Sep 30, 2002 · 22m

Feeling inferior to, and looked down upon by, the new neighbors, Carrie tries to make a good impression, but Doug couldn't care less. Meanwhile, Arthur tries to use Spence for free subway rides.

E3. Holy Mackerel

Oct 7, 2002 · 21m

Doug and Carrie start going to church after an uncomfortable encounter with their priest and when Carrie's prayer for a raise is answered, she gets a little carried away and starts praying for such trivial matters as a shoe sale.

E4. Kirbed Enthusiasm

Oct 14, 2002 · 22m

Deacon asks Doug to help him coach his 8-year-old son's football team and the boy challenges Doug to try out for a semi-pro team, but Carrie isn't thrilled with the idea until she sees an interesting photo of him.

E5. Mammary Lane

Oct 21, 2002 · 22m

Doug's bowling team prepares for a tournament, while Carrie agrees to babysit Mr. Kaplan's son, in hopes of furthering her career. But when Doug throws out a mercy flirt and Carrie runs into an awkward set of hands, all goes downhill.

E6. Business Affairs

Oct 28, 2002 · 22m

Doug stops by Carrie's office and is introduced to her work-husband Curt. Although Carrie assures him that he has nothing to worry about since Curt is gay, Doug is threatened by just how close the two are.

E7. Flame Resistant

Nov 4, 2002 · 22m

Carrie meets Doug's ex-girlfriend Margy and is surprised to learn that Margy is still very close with Doug's mother.

E8. Flash Photography

Nov 11, 2002 · 22m

At a wedding, Doug takes a naughty picture with a disposable camera supplied by the bride and groom. After letting Danny take the blame, and after confessing to a priest, he has the dreaded task of coming forward with the truth.

E9. Connect Four

Nov 18, 2002 · 21m

Carrie wins four company seats to Knicks games, but insists on taking a couple over Doug's friends. Meanwhile, Arthur digs himself a hole by pretending he can "fix" parking tickets.

E10. Loaner Car

Nov 25, 2002 · 22m

Doug loans Carrie to Deacon to help prepare Thanksgiving dinner. When Deacon ditches her for Holly's services, his web of lies soon gets out of control. Trying to cover it up, Doug continues to dig a hole for himself.

E11. Mentalo Case

Dec 16, 2002 · 22m

A toy from their childhood leads to a rift between Deacon and Doug. Meanwhile, Carrie tries to give her father a great Christmas gift, but this proves hard to do when everyone thinks of the wrong gifts they are receiving, altering their original gift choices.

E12. Jung Frankenstein

Jan 6, 2003 · 22m

Carrie thinks Doug needs professional help to control his excessive eating habits, so she persuades him to see a therapist. When Carrie sees Doug's great inprovements, she asks the therapist to work on Doug's other issues. Meanwhile, Arthur believes he's addicted to nasal spray and fights to stay off of it.

E13. Attention Deficit

Jan 20, 2003 · 22m

Doug becomes obsessed with his own Super Bowl party after learning that many of his friends will be attending a party thrown by a new co-worker. While Doug is focused on winning back as many guests as possible, Carrie complains that Doug doesn't think about her enough during the day. Problems arise when Doug tries to throw the ultimate Super Bowl party and prove to Carrie he's an attentive husband.

E14. Prints Charming

Feb 3, 2003 · 22m

Doug and Carrie photos get mixed up with another couples. When Doug and Carrie look at the other couples photos, they find out that their lives aren't as good as the others, so they try to do what are seen in the photos. Arthur's new cellphone is in no use when no one calls him.

E15. Animal Attraction

Feb 10, 2003 · 22m

Doug cannot spend time with Carrie on Valentine's Day, because he has to deliver penguins, with Deacon, from one zoo to another. Meanwhile, Carrie and Holly go out, with Carrie giving Holly tips to land a man.

E16. Golden Moldy

Feb 17, 2003 · 22m

Doug and Carrie are having fun on their vacation with their neighbors in St. Croix, but once Arthur calls with a quote on the current mold problem in the house, all is not so fun.

E17. S'Poor House

Feb 24, 2003 · 22m

The mold problem in the Heffernan household grows and Doug and Carrie find out to fix the problem will cost them $12,000! Doug, with his tail between his legs, goes to his father to ask for the money, but hits a wall when he wants to know why he and Carrie don't have it in the bank.

E18. Steve Moscow

Mar 10, 2003 · 22m

Doug and Carrie try to get the Russian workers to repair their house, by going to extreme lengths of giving them vodka.

E19. Cowardly Lyin'

Mar 31, 2003 · 22m

Carrie gets tickets to an opera but Doug doesn't want to go so he has Deacon help him lie to get out of it. Carrie catches him in the lie which prompts Doug to confess to a series of lies he's been hiding.

E20. Driving Reign

Apr 14, 2003 · 22m

Danny asks Doug for a letter of recommendation at IPS so he can move up to being a driver like Doug. Since this idea does not appeal to Doug, Carrie decides she will write the letter and have Doug sign it.

E21. Clothes Encounter

Apr 21, 2003 · 21m

Carrie can't stop buying expensive clothes, and then returning them within a few days. Spence's new girlfriend is afraid of his dog and tells him to decide who he wants, the dog or her.

E22. Queens'bro Bridge

Apr 28, 2003 · 21m

Arthur and his half-brother Skitch are reunited when Doug sets it up for them to meet again at the tollbooth Skitch works at on the freeway. When Doug realizes they own a house together, he sees the possibility of getting his basement back and he and Carrie having some personal time.

E23. Dog Shelter

May 5, 2003 · 22m

Carrie learns from Janet that Doug had a dog when he was 11, that they still have today, and Doug is 38! Janet admits to Carrie that the dog died, and they replaced it without Doug knowing.

E24. Taste Buds

May 12, 2003 · 20m

Since Doug never gets what he wants from Carrie, he uses Arthur to ask Carrie for them, so he gets what he wants. Meanwhile, Spence is first on line to see a new movie.

E25. Bed Spread

May 19, 2003 · 22m

After Doug breaks their bed, Doug and Carrie find temporarily having separate beds is improving their marriage. Arthur discovers that their sweet neighbor, Lou Ferrigno, is actually quite a gossip.